I am so lost. Weeping inside the dark is all I have anymore. So much has come and gone and all that is left is the rubble in my heart, the shattered pictures of my past cloud and overtake the halls of my mind. Nothing is the same anymore.
I have looked for the light that burst through the darkness. The light that holds together the days and pushes away the long devastating nights of hell. I have looked inside my soul for a piece of something that used to be there, something that was good but have long since seen.
How many more times do I have to see the devastation of the past come forward and ruin what I have worked so hard to build? Those moments in time that shatter a person are so strong that they echo forever on into the wild future, a future uncertain and as dark as the past.
How do I wake up? How do I move out of its clutches and into the light? How do I become what I was destined to be instead of this torn apart and molded piece of broken flesh and bone with nothing left to offer?
I am so lost. The shattered halls of my life have nothing left for me; they are ruins, dark, ugly and dangerous. They are death.
It is whispered into my ear soft and subtle, almost unheard.
What is this I keep hearing? It is a foreign voice one not heard in ages. One that was once trusted but now is barely remembered.
I am truly broken, I know that voice and have been avoiding it for so long I forgot how deeply affecting it can be. The light… My heart is overwhelmed with the love that flows through those words. How do I reconcile what He is saying and what I know about me, my life; my shattered, tattered life?
You are mine and I love you. I knew you before you were born, I created you; knit you together and breathed life into you. I love everything about you. I want your broken pieces. I want your weeping heart, your shattered tears. I want you. I have given you a new home, one built on the Rock, one built to last, one more beautiful than anything you lost. Come… Let me wipe away your tears and pick up the pieces.
It all melts away, all that I have been seeing, hearing and feeling for so many years; the darkness. The peace is overwhelming. It is intoxicating. Do I follow? Oh I want to so much so I feel it overwhelming my soul. What about the dark halls? They are so familiar? He beckons me…
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