Unwanted Anniversaries

There are times in our lives that we are reminded by anniversaries.  Many of them are good and are celebrated and filled with joy.  But then there are those… Unwanted Anniversaries.  I have a few of those.  Today however I am lamenting over one in particular.  The death of my dad.

Now, my dad was not the best man in the world.  He didn’t win father of the year and he struggled most of his life to just get by.  He was a drinker and had times in his life where he struggled with drugs.  He could be down right mean.  But here is what I love about my dad….

He Loved Me.

He cared about what happened to me even when he didn’t show it.  He cared about who was nice or not to me and he cared about how others treated me.  He cared that I had food to eat, a nice place to live, and decent clothing to wear.  He cared that I was taken care of and not living on the streets.  He cared that I had the medicine I needed for my asthma.  He cared that I even had a dad at all.  He didn’t run away.  There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me if he could make it happen.  He cared… He Loved Me.

Now some people would get stuck on all the bad.  But forgiveness allows me to see all the good.  Forgiveness allows me to love my dad back and allows my heart to be broken because he isn’t here.  Don’t hold bitterness in your heart.  Forgive.  Because we all have someone we love that has broken our hearts because of their own brokenness.

Abandoned

Abandoned, alone, what do I do?  My heart is beating so fast, what do I do?  It has been so long since she left.  I need help but no one is here and I don’t know what to do.  She is crying and won’t stop and I am scared that somethings really wrong.  She has needed a new diaper for so long and I don’t have a new one.  I tried to clean it but it isn’t helping.  She has red streaks going down her legs and her tears just wont stop coming.  God what do I do?  Something calms my heart for just a second, something brings peace.

“Sis you stay here, I will be back soon.  I am gonna go call dad.  He will come and he will know what to do.  Please don’t cry no more.  I love you!  Just play with your baby.  I will be back.”  As I kiss her head goodbye I feel how hot she is.  Fear jumps forward into my throat again and my heart beats faster.  I feel like I might be sick.

I turn and leave before I can change my mind.  It scares me to leave her alone but I have to call dad!  There is that peace again.  I am her big brother and it is my job to take care of her.  Where is mom?  Why isn’t she back yet?  I hate when she leaves us like this!

It is a warm sunny day outside and I am scared as I walk up the alleyway looking for houses that might let me use their phone.  It is a scary neighborhood and we don’t belong here.  Mom left us at a friends house but they haven’t been home for a couple days.  I just start asking people if they got a phone and it takes a while before someone lets me in to use their phone.  As I walk into their home my heart jumps into my chest again.  What if they are really bad people?!  That peace fills me again and I wonder if it is God.  I call my dad as fast as I can because I know he will help and I am right.  He is on his way.

I run all the way back to where my sister is and go inside and scoop her up.  She is still crying and must have been so scared but seeing me seems to make it all better.  I hold her tight and realize how bad she smells, nausea washes over me.  I must have not noticed before because we were together in this small home for so long, or maybe I just blocked it out but the smell is putrid.  I notice now though and it makes me want to be sick.

This is not the first time I have been abandoned, we have been abandoned.  It has happened before, many times.  My mom works a lot and likes to party a lot too so sometimes she leaves us with different people.  Some people are ok, others are scary.  This time the people just disappeared.  Maybe they were with mom.  I wish she would come back.

I sit down with my sister and just wait for my dad.  Peace…   I can tell God is with me, comforting me.   God loves me even when those that are supposed to love me forget.  Because of Him, I can cuddle up with my sister and love her and forget the reasons I was afraid.  Once I was abandoned, but now… I am now saved.  Peace…

~~~~~

This story is based on a true story that was told through the eyes of a frightened little boy that grew up too fast. This kind of thing happens all to often.  I hope this inspires you to see and do two things.  First, see the pain in children’s eyes… it’s there.  Help them. Don’t ignore it.  Second, if that kind of pain lingers in your heart from long ago like it does mine, remember, there is one who will never abandon you and He will always love you.  Let Him love you the way you should have been.

Thankful Thursday!

Today I writing about some of the things I am thankful for!  Not all, because they are far too many.

1st ~ I am thankful that after a harsh cold I am starting to feel better.  I pray I continue to and don’t fall backwards.

2nd ~ I am grateful for my daughter and her love for horses.  We got to spend the whole weekend at a horse show allowing her to experience something she has been hoping to do for a very long time!  What a pure blessing!  She received a 2nd, 3rd and 4th place ribbon for her efforts!  Way to go Muppin!

My beautiful girl getting ready for her Showmanship class!

Rico is the horse my daughter is blessed to be able to use. What a beautiful boy he is and how good he is to her too! She loves him dearly!

Even when his tail was frustrating him he is a good boy and Muppin kept her calm and made sure she let him know it was all ok. They are a great team.

3rd ~ I am grateful that it is the first day of spring!!!!  It hasn’t been a harsh winter for us, but I am ready for all the beauty spring has for us… it is already starting in my back yard!

Please note, this and all other photos are copyrighted. Please do not use without permission.

Please note, this and all other photos are copyrighted. Please do not use without permission.

What are you thankful for?  What causes you to smile and long for more?  I would love to hear from you!

 

 

Arabians!

If you have been wondering why I have not been around so much! Here is why…

Charis and Rico

My daughter has fallen fully in love with Arabians!  She was in her first show last month and is about to embark on her second this month.

charis and rico 2

Before you ask, yes the tail is real!  He is a beautiful Spanish Arabian and she loves him dearly.

charis and rico 3

For her first time we were very proud of her!  As you can see, 2 first place spots and 1 fourth.  Way to go Muppin & Rico!!! I can’t wait to see what is in store for her this weekend!  I am so happy for her.  She has a love of horses and of writing.  Two amazing things to fill her life with joy!

Free Write Friday – Via Our Homeschooler

I love Free Write Friday (FWF) and have not done it in a while!  Kellie Elmore is an amazing writer and has a weekly writing tool for those that want to have as much fun as she does. Each week it is a different prompt and this week it is this…

This house has a story…what is it?

Image Credit: We Heart It

Our daughter saw the prompt this time and wanted to write something.  We are a homeschool family and love any new challenges she is willing to take.  So I told her if she did it, I would post it.  She wrote this in 20 minutes. So here is my 9 year old daughters take on this old house.  Thanks Kellie for inspiring even our daughter!  She hopes to have a book published soon (she has written several chapter books) and it makes this mom’s heart glad.

A  Magical Thing

Cloe and Justen jumped into the magic tree house and they sat down and waited for their next mission.  The tree house started to spin and it shook then everything went black!  Finally the black faded off and there was light.  The tree house stop spinning and shaking

Justen and Cloe climbed out.  The magic tree house disappeared.  Justen and Cloe looked around and there was a white house that was a little broken down.

“Does anybody live here?” Cloe asked.

“I don’t know but maybe that’s what we’re here for.  We are detectives you know?” Justen replied.  They climbed over the fence and hid behind a tree.  “Let’s sneak inside and find out if anyone lives here,” Justen said.  “Well,…ok.” Cloe replied.

They snuck up to the porch and Cloe looked in the window but it was too dark to see inside.  Justen creaked open the door, the wind blew and it was a little scary but Cloe and Justen kept going and went inside.  “It looks more beat down in here, “ Justen whispered. “Yeah,” Cloe replied.

They looked around and a sound came from upstairs, it sounded like a knock. “Knock, Knock!”   The sound came. “Hey, Cloe did you hear the knock.  Let’s go see what it is,” Justen said as he pulled out his flashlight and turned it on.  All that came from Cloe was a nod.  So they snuck upstairs.  There was  a long hallway and they walked down it.  At the end of the hall was door with a poster hanging on it.  The poster was so thick that it sounded like a rock banging up against the door in the wind.  Cloe and Justen walked up to it and held their flashlight to it.

It said, “Gold! Don’t come in! Gold!”  Cloe and Justen almost screamed at the same time, they opened the door.  There was a chest with a key laying on top of it.  Cloe and Justen grabbed it together and unlocked the chest.  The chest was full of gold.

Justen and Cloe’s eye’s were wide, they were speechless.  The room started to glow and a man walked in from the light and said, “I’m am awarding you with this gold.  You are one of my helpers, but I warn you.  Use it wisely,…”  He stopped for a minute then said, “I love you!”

The room glowed again and he was gone.  Cloe squealed.  They carried the chest outside, the magic tree house appeared.  They put the chest in and climbed in it.  And as the tree house started to leave, they saw the same man standing next to the house smiling.  They waved to him and he waved back.

~Muppin Schutter ©March 2014

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Love of a Father!

My beautiful Muppin waiting for her daddy to finish getting ready!

I am so happy to be back into the world of blogging!  I have missed writing so much that it just about drew all the joy out of my everyday life!  Not completely ;)  but sometimes it felt that way.

The last few months have been filled with family vacations, Thanksgiving, Christmas and lots of horse riding, horse shows, school, church and just plain old life!  There were so many wonderful and challenging things that I didn’t know where to start, until I saw my daughter dressed up for the annual Daddy Daughter dance and I knew that instant what I would write about.

My daughter is blessed to have an incredibly loving and amazing daddy.  Not all of us get the chance to grow up with a daddy that is truly committed to his wife and kids like my husband is.  He spends all his efforts on taking care of us and he never wants his little girl to grow up believing she isn’t important or worth the time.  He wants her to truly grow up knowing what a real man is and how he should take care of her.  He wants her to know that she is fully loved no matter what kinds of things she does.  You know, those things that make you think you deserve otherwise?  He wants her to know that regardless of the trials she goes through he isn’t going anywhere and she will never be alone.  What an amazing daddy!

Every girl wants to be beautiful and every girl wants to be wanted! Make your girls feel wanted daddy, so no else needs to!

This is the third year that my man has taken our beautiful Muppin to the Daddy Daughter Dance.  I loved seeing them get dressed up and the excitement in her knowing that her daddy was spending a special evening with just her.

When they got home I got to hear from her all the sweet memories they had made together and after she went to bed I got to hear from my man.  He was so happy to make her happy but he was also very sad.  When I asked why, he told me about the many daddies and daughters that went that night and how the majority of the daddies sat on the bleachers on their phones while the girls played.  Now girls will gravitate to their friends of course, but that is especially true if daddy didn’t really want to be there.

He spoke of the down cast faces of the dads and how they rarely even looked up from their phones to watch their girls.  You could tell many of them really did not want to be there. To the girls it was as if the dads were not even there and those girls… well they might as well be invisible.  It broke his heart and made him sad.  It broke mine too and made me realize how much we ignore our kids today and the phones of today are a major contributor of that.  Now I love technology along with the next girl, but do we use it at the expense of our kids?  Question: Will your daughter know she is loved if she never sees your eyes because you are too busy looking somewhere else?  Cast your eyes on her daddy (your boys too but that is another post), she needs you!

My beautiful Muppin and her handsome Daddy!

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1a

Are you lavishing love on your girls?